September 07, 2013

Vinny writes a letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

First off, I hope you're okay! It was disturbing to see this video and I would hate it if something happened to you, because of a parrot! Please understand that not all of us parrot-kin are aggressive and/or destructive! Of course I'm saying this after finding this unsettling Youtube video!

I know it's only early September, but I'm writing you now because I don't know if I can trust my humans to forward my letter to you in time. Or actually I'm not sure I can trust them at all!

The thing is .. I really do feel awkward at times. I can sense that my body is going through some changes and I really can't help it when I let out some yells now and then. I don't do it often, because I've noticed that every time i do that, I have to go back in the cage, my humans are leaving the room, or I get a blanket thrown over my cage. They really seem pissed off at me at times!

Please, Santa, you have to trust me, I'm NOT a bad boy! I just can't help myself!

The other day, when one of the humans I'm living with, the chubby one who's feet smell so delightful and let's me play with them now and then -let's call him 'daddy'-, was taking me for a shower. I know, I got a bit overexcited again. I just couldn't sit still. It was like, I don't know, a whole bunch of bees were swarming around me. I felt so agitated, but enthusiastic at the same time.

And the other human, the one with the long hair that is so much fun to play with -let's call her 'mommy'-, I had lost her! I could hear her, but I couldn't see her. I guess there was a small element of panic there as well. So I jumped around the small wet room with the great acoustics, and let out a few yells.

And daddy was very angry! He came out of the waterfall, chased me, tapped me on my tail, and I really do think he thinks that I'm a bad boy. But please Santa, you have to trust me, I'm NOT a bad boy!

Most of the time, both mommy and daddy are really nice to me though. They get me new stuff all the time. To play with, to sit on, to eat, to chew on, to exercise with, and more! So I'm still very happy with both of them, and the small chirping birds as well of course. In the end I think we're all one big family and we love each other very much, even though we have our squabbles now and then. And, even though they don't always do what I tell them to do.

That's why I'm not sure this letter will reach you in time, or at all! We'll have to see. Maybe I'll send you a short note by pigeon as well. My neighbors, a whole flock of 20 pigeons, have this whole courier service operation going on. I've been getting along with hem very well, so maybe they'll give me a discount, especially when they know my situation at home and that it's a letter to you, of all people.

So, that said, now let's talk about my 'demands'. This year, my wish list is as follows:

  • A nice natural looking Java tree stand, one of those with white curvy branches and all
  • More toys. I like the leather one. Great to chew on. Flexible, yet sturdy.
  • A bigger cage! (although I'm not sure my humans would agree)
  • A harness that doesn't feel icky, so my mommy and my daddy will take me out more often
  • A dictionary! I'm practicing my speech, but my humans keep repeating me. I want to learn new words! 
  • A dictionary! I love shredding paper in general, but especially dictionaries.

I can't think of anything else for the moment, but I'll let you know. I'll CC Mrs. Santa on this note as well, I know you're really busy with prepping and all.

Take care, dear Santa, and I really do hope that you know that I'm not a bad boy!

Vinny the Eclectus
The Netherlands

Recently I've discovered that when you have a pitcher or bottle with cold water/drink, the outside gets really wet! And that the cold wetness on the side is absolutely fantastic to lick off! And ice cubes are great to munch on too, as long as they're being dunked in water first. I don't like it when they're still 'dry'. They get a bit sticky. Anyway, can you also send along a big bag of ice, please, you know, with you living at the North Pole and such? Thank you Santa! You're the best!